In the village where I live, I speak with many people who seem deeply unhappy. Not just tired or frustrated—but worn down in a way that’s hard to name. Some lash out – mostly online, others in public. Others shut down. A few have stopped expecting life to feel different.
Often, they’re close to someone who drains them. Sometimes, they drain themselves—repeating patterns they don’t fully see.
That’s where the phrase comes in:
Some people like you broken.
Not because they’re evil. Often not even deliberately. But because your brokenness makes life easier—for them.
What Does “Broken” Mean?
In this context, “broken” doesn’t mean hopeless or damaged beyond repair. It means emotionally worn down. Doubting your worth. Too tired to speak up.
You might be:
- Burnt out from keeping the peace
- Walking on eggshells at home
- Blaming yourself for someone else’s anger
- Dismissing your needs to avoid conflict
This isn’t a weakness. Often, it’s survival. But survival isn’t the same as living.
Why Would Someone Like You That Way?
Because when you’re broken, you’re easier to manage. You stay small. You say yes when you want to say no. You don’t push back, shine too brightly, or ask too much.
That can feel convenient to someone who:
- Needs to feel superior
- Is afraid of being challenged
- Feels threatened by your confidence
- Wants control, not connection
It’s not always conscious. But it’s real. And over time, you may begin to confuse their comfort with your safety.
The Paradox of Familiar Pain
Sometimes we stay in painful roles or relationships not because they feel good, but because they feel familiar. And familiarity can feel safer than change—even when it hurts.
Could I Be Keeping Myself Broken?
This is the harder question.
Sometimes we become attached to roles we didn’t choose. The peacemaker. The one who copes. The person who doesn’t make a fuss.
If you’ve spent years silencing your needs, any form of self-respect might feel like rebellion. You might fear what will happen if you start telling the truth.
You might even believe that this is just how life is meant to feel.
Learned Helplessness
After facing repeated emotional harm or disappointment, people may stop trying to change their situation—even when they could. They lose the sense that escape or healing is possible.
But ask yourself:
Who benefits from me staying this way?
And who might I become if I didn’t need to please them anymore?
The Hardest Part: Seeing It
The closer you are to something, the harder it is to see clearly. Especially in families, relationships, or close-knit communities where these patterns are normalised.
You might tell yourself:
- “They’ve had a hard life.”
- “It’s just how they are.”
- “I’m probably being too sensitive.”
These explanations can feel comforting. But they can also keep you stuck.
Confirmation Bias
If you already feel unworthy or unlovable, your brain will tend to notice and accept behaviour that reinforces that belief—even if it's harmful. It's not the truth—it's repetition.
But here’s a quiet truth:
If it consistently drains you, frightens you, or makes you doubt yourself, it matters!
Seven Small Ways to Test the Health of Your Relationships
You don’t need a confrontation to start seeing things more clearly. These simple, quiet actions can reveal a lot.
The Choice to Change
You don’t have to confront anyone today. You don’t need a full plan. But you can start noticing.
That’s where change begins—with one honest moment. One quiet refusal. One shift from survival to self-respect.
Some people may like you broken but that doesn’t mean you have to stay that way!
